When my daughter told me she was engaged to be married I was absolutely thrilled. I remember feeling warm all the way through my body, I felt - healed. Healed from the loss of Glyn, healed from the effort of dealing with my RSD, healed from other ills of life. It didn;t last long.
Within a couple of weeks the wedding plans had been altered. At first, the marriage was to take place in Amsterdam and I prepared to organise paying for it, helping to choose a dress etc etc. The usual mother role in effect. Then the plans were changed so that the wedding was to be in France where the in-laws live so I swallowed hard and thought that that might be ok. Finally the decision was taken by the couple - something to do with the in-laws - to get married in Mauritius with NO family there at all. My son was told that I had insisted on a wedding here, there were emails that should have been private that were read by the wrong person, and everything became totally messy and I became very unhappy about the whole thing.
I have, in spite of all this, made some kind of peace with the situation. But how it goes now I don;t know.
The final straw was hearing my son tell my daughter that if there were to be a family do after the ceremony, he would prefer to go to the do in France rather than come to me if I organised something. I was so upset by this - the final straw as I said.
I hope all this will sort out in 2010. I don't know how and, worst of all, I don't know how to stop the hurting, when even the postmistress, when I posted something for the marriage, is astonished that I am not to attend my only and much loved daughter's wedding. If my daughter's father had been alive this would never have happened and that fact makes this all the worse.
All will be well in the end though.
I am genuinely pleased - thrilled - that Abigail is marrying Eric who seems genuinely fun, kind, loving, generous, gentle....
Abigail is happy with Eric and that is the most important thing.
The wedding is only the wedding. I just want peace and love between all of us. Life is far too short for arguements to last long. I love Abigail. I love Eric. I love my son Cris.
I love Joseph above all.
All will be well, and all will be well.....please God.
Here is Peepie.....she knows everything will be ok!!