Tuesday, 1 December 2009

going away

We are off on our travels again...

Its strange how quickly this little flat has come to feel like a refuge, in a city with people who care and who might make a difference. Somehow this feeling has never come when I am over the other side of the Pennines. It would appear that people there more "cliquey" and it is very very difficult to break into a clique. Even places where I felt safe or wanted have been illusory places of safety. I don't know why.

Maybe I am becoming paranoid but it seems that I can be easily overlooked or forgotten or just insulted whilst living on Merseyside.

Maybe that is a feature of the community over there and that supposed "warmth" that makes Liverpool famous is actually reserved for locals only and I am  - am very much - an outsider?

Sometimes that is how I feel about life in general. That I am outside looking in. I am just on the periphery of life and that is difficult. I make myself talk to people I don't know, but it is becoming an effort, one that I am less and less willing to make.

I like this flat. It feels - safe. And quiet.  And I don't relish leaving it.

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