Sunday, 29 November 2009


It has been raining here in the UK forever  - or that's how it feels. We seem to be surrounded by a sea of rainwater and mud, each step outside takes an age to prepare for with layers of clothing and footwear. Even the poor dog refused to go for a walk this evening feeling outrage at the unremitting wetness.

I am tired of the dark and wet, tired of this cough that does not seem to lift, looking forward to going to Spain next week, into the light I hope.

We have been in Leeds since Thursday evening. Since then we have done so much. We went to Saltaire on Friday and revisited the place where we went, J and I, on our first outing together. So many memories....

On Saturday we went to investigate the Reform Synagogue service in the morning, and I met friends there who came back for coffee and chat, and catching up which was wonderful. When they had gone we went to my best friend O and had coffee there, came back and found an email inviting us to a concert given by Leeds University Music union and it was their main orchestra who gave us a spirited second half with their performance of Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue and Bernstein's Symphonic Dances from West Side Story. They were so enthusiastic and had a drummer who looked as though he came straight from a rock band somewhere.

Today, it has rained and rained but we went to see my friend Sue for coffee and now J is decorating - painting some the doors we did not manage to finish, and tomorrow we will shop for Xmas and other items for this little flat.

I want to know what its like to live here when its DRY!! It is so dispiriting to sit here watching the world go dark at 2 in the afternoon. And my poor dog wants a long walk and run, not the quick dash round we are having at the moment. I do like this place enormously. I am looking forward to experiencing spring here, amongst the trees.

How do I feel?


Part of me is here, part is with my dying mother, part is with my children, part is dealing with my daughter's marriage ceremony to take place without me. Part of me is fretting because I need to get on with some writing and some stitching. Life never does what you want it to do. I was so happy, so thrilled, so contented when I found out my daughter was getting married, and the awful nastiness that has followed has completely overwhelmed me and I don't know how to get past it. Finally hearing my son say that he would rather attend a celebratory party in France with the in-laws rather than one with his mother and her friends has hurt me greatly. Oh well. It will all come out in the wash as they say.

Meanwhile - what will 2010 bring? I dread to think.....I never expected 2009 to be so bad....

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