"This being human is as a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of it's furniture. Still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond."
This is a very mature way of dealing with psychic hurt and harm. I don't know whether I am - even at my age -mature enough to deal with hurt in this way. But for sure I have always used every experience, however horrific, as a learning curve, as something from which to grow.
Just now I am dealing with my daughter's anger and her upset with me, my mother is dying and has dementia and I will never have the chance to talk to her again, my birth family will not contact me, my son is very very distant, and my creativity seems to have gone out for a walk. I hope the latter isn;t permanent, the other things ? I don;t know.
It is hard to stay positive. I feel as though I am walking through glue. I cannot make headway. Its all very odd and difficult. Having said that, I am not depressed, just sad which is different. And lacking in energy which I think is my own fault - not eating properly or sleeping enough. I can;t keep anything regular - eating sleeping writing etc - without J here it seems. He gives my life its meaning.
He's coming tomorrow though - at last. Thank goodness!